This Girl's Life...

2006-12-27T20:31:00.000-06:00

Today I had lunch with my old roommates - Bonnie who now lives in Hong Kong with her husband Matt, who is from England... they met in China; and Hoi Ning, who is from Hong Kong and now lives in Toronto. Hoi Ning also brought her friend Ally to today's lunch. Ally is from Korea and is currently studying here in Toronto.

The past few years have introduced quite an eclectic variety of worldly people into my life... here is a cross-section of these wonderful relationships I have built over the years:

Hoi and Bonnie as mentioned above.
Hana: Studied in Toronto, from Slovenia and currently working in East Timor.
Another Bonnie: We met on exchange in England and her love for the jolly ol' place brought her back there after graduation to live and work.
Erika: Going on a work assignment to Dublin in January.
Adam: Moving to Hawaii for an internship in 2007.
Kirsten: We met in Ireland and she is now back home in New Zealand after her recent one-year working-holiday spent in Canada.

I have to wonder, do I gravitate to interesting and adventurous globe-trotters OR are international relationships (be them friendships, lovers, family, working relationships etc) increasingly more common?! Probably a combination of both of these.

I am delighted and thankful for all of my relationships with these people. People say that understanding different cultures can be achieved through experiencing/immersing yourself in the culture itself. Meeting and relating to people that have done that is the next best alternative when you can't/won't/don't do it yourself. Travelling and learning about the world teaches one to appreciate and celebrate differences and that would hopefully lead to more positive understanding around the world between different cultures. A number of forces have come together to allow our generation in particular to enjoy this privilege - democracy, technology, access to information, the Internet, more wide-spread immigration, cheaper and increased modes of transportation. And for that we are very lucky!

2006-04-30T22:46:00.000-05:00

Why are groceries carried around in bulky, awkward paper bags by characters in the movies but no one actually does this in real life? I always wonder this when I see characters in movies with their large paper bags with unnamed contents. Is it because the paper bag can allow a closer-up upper body camera shot than a plastic bag wheras a sagging plastic bag would require a full-body shot? But why is the paper bag even in the shot? Is it because the paper bag makes the character look like their hands are full? Maybe sometimes, but not usually. Sometimes the character is on a cell phone and trying to carry the awkward paper bag, but they never actually mention the paper bag that is causing them clumsiness or say anything about what's in the bag. And the call doesn't end either. For the most part, the bag is just there for no reason. In the movie I just saw, and many others with the paper bag groceries, there is never any reference to the groceries or hands being full as if the bag is creating a hurdle to some other task the character is trying to conquer. Nothing about what's in the damn paper bag. Why oh why is it there? Why can't the character just walk from the car into the house without any groceries? Argh. Everytime I see a character with a paperbag in a movie I lose track of the plot and get into this mindless battle with myself about the damn paper bag. The paper bag is very distracting.

2006-03-25T11:25:00.000-06:00

I bought my first bottle of perfume, real perfume yesterday!! I don't know why I'm so excited... but I am! It smells like cherry and vanilla and yum yum! I have always enjoyed different scents - shampoos, soaps, etc but have never spent big dollars on fancy perfume. But as I was perusing the different scent booths and smelling different eau du this and eau do that (and coffee beans to neutralize my sense of smell), I became so excited that I could find a scent that I would want to buy. Of course I'm sure other people wear my scent too but I think it smells a bit different on me. I won't tell you readers what it is either - to add to the perfume's allure! Shopping is fun.

2006-02-21T21:03:00.000-06:00

I applied for an apartment that met my criteria! Fingers crossed!

This PSP ad strikes me funny: "Play in traffic"
Isn't that dangerous except maybe for public transit commuters?

Chris is dog-sitting this week. His puppy is cute. He might come on our ski trip this weekend to the lodge. I like that word lodge.

I'm sniffling... caught cold.

2006-02-15T22:09:00.000-06:00

Given that our lease is ending and I'd like to shorten my commute to work, I've started my hunt for a new apartment... this has led me to wonder about many considerations I have regarding where exactly I want to live. My thoughts are going in circles...

I want to live along a subway line. To be more specific, there are really only a few subway stops that I want to live near in the first place. However, these are often the most expensive places to rent.

I want cheap rent. Not so cheap that I have to bunk with mildew, mold, pests and rodents, but not so expensive that I have to succumb other aspects of my life to squalor (such as clothing and entertainment budget).

Cheap rent can be found in unkempt apartments, but mostly in hither-dee-dither places that are not along the subway line. This would not decrease my commute to work with all the switching and transferring involved on public transport when you're not on the subway line. But it would allow me to save faster for a place that I could own instead of rent.

I don't want to pay exorbitant rent for a place that I do not own. But I do want the apartment building and its amenities to be kept in great condition such that as it would be if it were owned by its tenants. That includes a renovated interior (i.e. not squeeky-slimy-crooked cupboards where I would never place any food inside of).

Are my constraints unreasonable?

Is there a quick-fix, needle-in-the-haystack, gem of an apartment out there with cheap rent , a new interior and of prime location on one of my preferred subway stops?

2006-01-17T19:15:00.000-06:00

None of my contacts really blog anymore - I have noticed. Except for Bonnie and Wendy B. I shall reappear for at least a little while.

What's new? I have started playing WoW - it's actually quite fun. And difficult... with all the multitasking that must be done throughout the game. The main tidbit of information that enticed me to play was that you don't actually 'fight' the trolls/makuras/scorpids and the like, you just click on weapons that you acquire and they do the workfor you. Of course there is some credit to the speed, intuition and coordination in doing this. But I don't really like fighting games, which is what I thought WoW was. I'm glad there's more to it than that.

2005-12-31T14:56:00.000-06:00

Can a person ever make you feel like 'home'? Before I met Chris my mind was adrift with many thoughts and ideas but no conclusions of where I would feel at home. But he has become the sandbags to my drifting hot-air balloon. He provides me with great stability and that makes me happy to discover that I found the person that can make me feel that I really belong somewhere. With him.

2005-08-01T16:32:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in a little bit and a lot has happened. But I am aware of the short attention span of my readers (and mine to boot) so this entry won't be about updates. You can call me or email me if you're really interested in my day-to-day life :) Instead I will share with you the thoughts that have been running through my mind today. I was walking down the street this morning (with hangover) and I noticed various newspaper headlines about violence in Toronto this past weekend. I normally don't like watching the news or getting all depressed about sensationalized journalist recaps about all the woes of the world. But today I was shaken. Maybe because I had a hangover or maybe for some other reason, but I felt a weight of sadness. I know I get like that sometimes. But it made me feel apathetic because it seems like violence and sadness and evil and sorrow always happens all around us and that I just go on living my merry life and today I am wondering what's it all for? I know my mood might change tomorrow but these thoughts creep back to me often enough and I guess what I'm really worried about is that I'm going to become some old weird frazzled depresso that doesn't and/or can't "feel" (i mean really feel) anything about the going-ons in this world and can't come up with any real defintion of what my place is here.... bah!

2005-07-20T23:13:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been swallowing a tremendous amount of gum. Why-oh-why?

I have also been a 'cleaning lady' for 5 days straight. This has to stop. Else I change professions!!

2005-07-06T20:55:00.000-05:00

There are so many things wrong with thong underwear that comes in large sizes. Today I had to walk behind a monster wearing a flourescent pink thong and tight white pants. Not pretty. And I couldn't get around her because of her girth pouring over the sidewalk.

2005-07-03T21:51:00.000-05:00

Quote from a good movie:
"Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corruption. Every fucking day, somewhere in the world, somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else. Every fucking day, someone, somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else! People find love, people lose it! For Christ's sake, a child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know crap about life!"

2005-06-25T13:10:00.000-05:00

Leaving Kingston today... the year did go by fast, but overall I enjoyed my time here. Packing up the office was therapeutic (throwing out old notes etc) and Krista and I took pictures yesterday and a few with Jaden too. He sat on the bottom of my chair and made a funny face for the camera... what a cutie. I do think the MIRs will be more or less bonded together because of all the time we spent together this year. That is a good thing. All the ups and downs balance out on a pleasant experience... now I just must finish my thesis...

PS - I love boardgames - was introduced to Taboo last night by Lisa et al. What a great game!!

2005-06-22T09:29:00.000-05:00

Confused.

I have some jumbled thoughts at the moment... You know when people talk about trusting your gut or your intuition and that it will always lead you down the right path. And then if it ends up being the wrong path afterall, we end up saying we just chose to ignore our gut or intuition (or something like that). Well what I would argue is that the second statement is untrue. We do make the choices that we feel are best for us, is that not trusting our gut? If it ends up to be the wrong choice, it's not because we ignored our gut, but because it just ended up that the choice we made was wrong, and that in reality, our gut is not always right. We just don't always have control over what will happen when we make a choice, whether we trust our gut or not. The part that matters after that is that we fix mistakes and move forward. And for me, that's easier to do if I admit that my gut will not always be right. Stupid gut.

Does this make any sense? I feel confused.

2005-06-21T15:23:00.000-05:00

Who will go strawberry picking with me?

2005-06-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

As I sit in my barren apartment typing this entry, I am reminded how much I hate transience. Currently, I feel a cloud of unease that will not lift until I find out where I will live next. Even though a month ago I knew that at this point I'd be in transition, it never appeared real until it happened. That moment is now. After 13 moves in residence since starting undergrad, one would think I'd be used to this by now and able to anticipate said cloud of unease regarding transition. Of course it is also exciting, but yet more of a nuisance at the current moment.

How many times can I say transition/transience to describe my condition?!

Sigh.

2005-06-15T20:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry my readers, it's been awhile for an update from the wenders... I will re-cap in reverse order my activities of late...

Charm and I drove to Kingston yesterday so he could help me move my things back to Toronto, but we chased the tornado-type storm for the entire drive there! After a few pub pitstops and coffee breaks (and 4 hours later) we made it to Kingston!! We proceeded to finish all the liquor in my apartment, then headed to AJs for some 80s and 90s music and dancing. Then we woke up with hangovers and moved my shite outta apartment 104. And since we are both unemployed, we accidentally kept calling this a moving weekend, not realizing that Tuesday and Wednesday aren't really the weekend. Also, we talked like yokels for the entire trip.;)

Actual Weekend: Went to Haliburton with Chris to cottage it with his long-time friends. Bugs bit me and it rained. Bad. But I went tubing and gorged on drinks and food. Good.

Friday: Drank in day with Jeff, Danny and Sarm. Drinking in the day is bad. Well getting drunk in the day is bad. Because then I crashed early in the evening. Bah.

Also Friday: My Dutch passport arrived!!! YAY! I am now a dual citizen. Now I will marry whomever (almost)... for a small fee.

I can't remember earlier than Friday. Must be too much drink killing my brain cells.

2005-06-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

Here is a fun little game I found on my friend's blog... his specific response to me is as follows:

1) You're fun to have around when you're in the city.
2) K.d. Lang - Anywhere But Here
3) 3:00am - Because you're still on MSN talking
4) Free-spirited
5) Driving home from Toronto having a childhood nostalgia moment as we encouraged (with a repeating pull down motion) Big Rigs to blow their horns.
6) Llama
7) When will you stop running?

Now I urge my own readers to partake in the chain of questions:

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

2005-06-01T14:11:00.000-05:00

I got offered contract work at my old job today. Given the panic attack I had last week re my self perceived inability to be able to ever find work, this seems to be a dream come true. However, instead it brings to the surface many questions about where I want to be versus where I once thought I wanted to be.

There are draws to staying in Toronto: comfort, friends, culture, energy, excitement and a healthy economy with endless possibilities. But then I recall that all year I have been saying I would work abroad when I graduated.

A fellow MIR tells me that I suffer from "anywhere but here" syndrome and I think he is very correct. This is backed up by a Toronto friend that pointed out to me that working elsewhere is not always better, but just different. Case in point, last year when I was working in Dublin, I just wanted to be back in Toronto, although in hindsight I appreciate the good it did me to step outside of myself and examine 'me' from the outside looking in.

So where does that leave me now? I think I will always be a constantly indecisive Libra, pondering endlessly over my choices... Of course this all points to me making some sort of pro-con list, which I will begin tonight.

Advice from my loyal readers is always appreciated... for now I am going to meet Hoi at Dutch Dreams for ice cream to soothe my mind and soul.

2005-05-26T07:39:00.000-05:00

I can remember a day when I used to sip coffee once in awhile... i.e. I could not even finish a Tim Horton's medium sized coffee. But now, oh my, I couldn't imagine wasting a drop!! And for this entire week, I've been on a "two-cup-before-leaving-my-house" minimum given these damn 8:30 classes. All year we were spoiled with maybe the odd 9am class. How will I ever re-adjust to to the working world?

2005-05-24T19:35:00.000-05:00

melan-co-holic

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

...that is, they belong... not to me...

2005-05-20T08:03:00.000-05:00

I have a presentation today - my most hateful part of being a MIR. This year I have had a total of19 presentations (I just counted on my fingers and toes)! You'd think they'd be a breeze by now... I suppose I have improved. I don't shake as much and I no longer end my statements with a upswing of high-pitched question-like tone. My face turns less red I feel. I do, however, still read my notes a bit, even if I know my part. Oh well, here goes another one... "Orchestrating Training for Big and Small Companies!!" Baby steps my dears... Baby steps.

Tonight I shall unwind by watching a flick I've been anticipating, entitled Nobody Knows. Then it's off to Ottawa for tulips, spring concerts, 80s dancing, coffees and chit chat, drinks, good friends and good food!

2005-05-18T08:19:00.000-05:00

I have 9 overdue library books. Fuck! Why do I have to pretend to be such a keener?!?! "Women at Work in Medieval Europe"... I didn't even read it!! I get so eager at the beginning of term and grad students can keep books all term. That may be a mistake. I even had written in large caps on my calendar "LIBRARY BOOKS". Aye!!

2005-05-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

My poor Ian lost Survivor. His soul couldn't bear the bitterness that his fellow survivors felt toward him. It's fair to say the game involves backstabbing and the like. As Robin said, Ian 'lost it' (as in lost his mind) by the end, when he jumped off the disc in an effort to win back Tom's respect. The game does involve survival of the mind, and Ian clearly lost a bit of his. In my opinion, Ian's heart was too big for this game.

Recently I have noticed that the TTC subway mice have gained quite some weight indicating that they are extremely well fed and/or lazy. Yesterday I saw a couple of healthier ones nibbling on an apple core, even though there was some sort of pastry product nearby. It just goes to show you, even rodents can catch on to the current human fad of health and fitness.

Jen, Rob, Kristen and I watched Kicking and Screaming with Will Ferrell and it was so funny that at points I even cried tears of laughter. Perhaps it won't be as funny to others, but his humour is exactly my type of funny!!!

On Saturday, Chris and I went to Dhaba for dinner. The service was so slow at first that we contemplated leaving. But then after a period of waiting, we got an excellent table in some sort of mystical sari corner with a brisk breeze making the white sheer saris flutter around us. Mmmm... kingfisher beer, poppadums, butter chicken and some other non-creamy dish. The name escapes me at the moment.

Sarm and I have decided to go on a Toronto hippo bus tour next time I'm in town as he'll be done work and as a student, I always have muchos free time. I love my Toronto visits.

2005-05-09T01:37:00.000-05:00

Tidbits...

I met Basil Hargrove on Thursday. For those of you that don't know who he is, I can explain further next time we chat. He is a charismatic and engaging speaker. It is no wonder he has inspired so many people. (... end cheesy CAW promo ...) . But seriously, I could feel his magic in his handshake. His passion radiated from him. Very heartwarming.

Patios are good. I love patio season. I love future's cafe, meats, danishes, smoking, coffee and sunshine. Yesterday and today I was able to combine these great loves. I sat around semi-working on my thesis and just smiling that I was able to blend so many of my loves.

Sarm and I 'rang in' the summer yesterday by getting drunk at Madison patio starting around noonish. We have decided to make it an annual tradition, whereby the weather forever after (...well, at least the following 4 months or so...) shall be filled with glorious sunshine and no gloomy clouds. The theory is based on zero concrete evidence but it's fun nevertheless!

Today I ate a burrito for lunch with Chris at some hole in the ground (literally) that his sister told him about. Mine was a bit spicy but very tasty indeed. I couldn't finish the whole thing though, but like some sort of human garbage pail, Chris scarfed the rest down for me... what excites me about the burrito place (I forget its name) is that I lived in Toronto for many years and time after time this city continues to please and surprise me with new and exciting events/locations/pubs/people et cetera.

I drove back from Toronto with Curt and Ro. They are two winnipeggers with really good cores, where 'really good' is a hard test to meet by my standards.

That's all I can remember right now...

2005-05-04T22:23:00.000-05:00

After class today, our professor and the guest speaker invited us for a few pints at the tir na nog. We chatted about unions the entire time... eek, but they picked up the tab so I'm not complaining. I also had a revelation... I won't get into details here but you can ask me about my discontent with some of the sub-conversations... let's just say I am reassured time and time again that the old boys' club will never fully be eradicated, at least not in my lifetime.

In other exciting news, I no longer live alone (well for the next week that is). Rather I have a live-in chef!! How exciting!! Catherine is a most excellent cook and I think in the next week I might gain quite some weight... She really needn't cook for me, as my friend I would let her stay regardless. But I'm definitely enjoying the sweet aromas of her cooking and the delicious meals that she has been providing. Long live Chef Catherine! BAM!

2005-05-03T03:05:00.000-05:00

I went to the Brass tonight for a fellow MIRs birthday. Had a liquid cocaine with Andrew (the birthday boy) and Tricky... then just one beer. That was all... since I showed up at midnight and everyone seemed to be quite drunk at this point. It was an interesting perspective for me to see the MIRs through sober eyes at a bar (eerie), as I am usually equally as drunk as most of them. It endeared me toward them even more though because I can see they are goofy as me.

2005-04-27T16:23:00.000-05:00

Enrolled in pottery today! I had a bit of a dilemma in that the class falls on Thursday nights (in conflict with Survivor) but as it turns out I will only miss one episode of Survivor as the finale falls on Sunday May 15. I am uber excited for pottery - I have been trying to take such a class for quite some time. Just call me Miss Potter ;) Maybe my work will be so great that I can make a living off of my artistry and then moonlight as a farmer! Big dreams my dears...

2005-04-25T13:27:00.000-05:00

After I hand in this hunk-a-junk paper at 3:59pm, I am going tanning. Bring on the skin cancer!!

2005-04-22T11:29:00.000-05:00

Oh Happy Day!! That had to be the easiest exam I have ever written!! Well, next to our 2nd year Micro Econ exam with Fearon - remember that one charm? 103% - awesome. My good lord! So today was a law exam, which means that it's impossible to get 100% but I am for sure one happy chick. I could not believe my eyes - and kept thinking, is this it? Am I missing something? I am filled with super D-E-L-I-G-H-T!!

2005-04-21T16:19:00.000-05:00

I really need a new hobby... I have way too much time on my hands... time for a good/bad post...

Good: cottage cheese with sprinkles of pepper
Bad: i just ate an entire tub
Good: coffee and smokee
Bad: jitters from cup numero trois
Good: classical music for concentration
Bad: i am humming and i think people can hear me
Good: krista is coming to office soon
Bad: at that point i have to go back to the library
Good: tomorrow this time i will be at the tanning salon
Bad: tanning is a new form of procrastination

That's all folks...

2005-04-21T00:32:00.000-05:00

I have an exam in 22 hours. One would think I should be studying, but like the crazy loon I tend to be, I am instead discovering new distractions by the minute... This includes the devil msn, coffee breaks, smoke breaks, television, snack time, front porch sittin, cornbread eatin, accenture ball tossing, blogging, even cleaning (gasp!)... the list goes on... any new ideas out there? Or shall I just get down to business... for real this time?

2005-04-19T07:42:00.000-05:00

Went on a date last night, and I won't divulge the details here, except for the ending... MY GOD, the ending I replayed in my head after and even woke up in the night to slap myself on the head for... So here it is: We pull up at my friend's building where I'm staying and chat for a few minutes (you all know how awkward endings are), but right before it can get any more uncomfy, the bloody concierge knocks on the window and says: "You can't park here, you have to leave" and there he hovered, while we nodded that we'd move. Seconds later he repeated again, "You have to go now, blah blah blah". So like a startled girl, out of the car I went. And then the concierge escorted me back into the building. How utterly embarrassing... this will go down in my dating history books for sure...

2005-04-18T10:28:00.000-05:00

The Toronto-to-Montreal trip was sublime! Where do we begin?? After an early Saturday morning start, coffee provided me with a much needed boost... Jen and I got a little hectic the night before with the drink and karaoke so we had wee hangovers for the 6 hour drive to Montreal... I still am bewildered as to how Jen got by without caffeine of any sort. But when we got to the French city... WOW! Imagine all the best things you could enjoy on vacation: feeling relaxo, sunny sunshine, byob patio dinners, eclectic people all around you, good friends to share your time with, and inside jokes that you will remember forever after. We went to hear a frisky dj spin at our first (and maybe last??) rave. Jen and i were the first to sleep and the last to wake up. 4 partying boys were also in our room and I'm fairly sure they sleep very little, if at all. But us girlies needed our rest. On the way home, we stopped at Sarm's shack in Port Hope and yes, it really is a shack. We created potential headlines for the next morning paper of how the locals would interpret our drop in to their peaceful town. And our creative Sarm came up with an abundance of scenario questions to pass the driving time.... these are all just highlights, I could go on and on, but y'all get the picture.

2005-04-15T02:01:00.000-05:00

I feel a bit drunkard. Tonight I met the old 702ers for $2.50 beers/spirits at labyrinth. Erika joined us as well. I desperately wanted to play a drinking game, but the others shot me down. I have this idea for game whereby you go around the circle saying various idioms. While I recognize that the game might never end and no one might ever get to drink, I feel it teaches us a valuable lesson in life that too many idioms lead to trouble. I'm not trying to lay it on thick, or beat around the bush, but y'all must understand the unassuming role that idioms, or cliches, play in our life.

To further recap today's events because that's all I remember at the moment, I enjoyed a lovely dinner with Wendy B. and Robin. We ate at 'By the Way Cafe' - see the use of idiom again? Ack. Anyway, 'by the way' can be exception to my problem with idioms, because it is super delicious. Then we watched Survivor on the big screen, where Coby got voted off Palau. This disappointed me, because I fail to understand the rules of 'outwit, outplay, outlast' and continue to chose the characters I like the most (or have a crush on, aka Ian) which is absolutely not how I will win the pool. Bloody Hell!!

2005-04-10T00:50:00.000-05:00

Tonight I watched Chocolat - for the 2nd time... what a pleasant story about finding home, even against your greatest restraint. The main character travels from town to town, wherever the north wind takes her. But she finally settles in a tiny French village and runs her delectable chocolaterie. I often wonder about my strong urge to travel, and where it will take me, and for how long. Deep down I know I will end up where Lynden David Hall sings that "there's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be". My heart is warmed, I am satisfied, but just for this moment. We shall where that takes me...

Johnny Depp was also great eye candy, further complementing this motion picture. He has such chiseled features and entrancing eyes.

2005-04-07T11:52:00.000-05:00

Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote while in a drunken rage last night (edited and made more colourful by tricky) :

On Wednesday April 6, 2005, we went to the Grad Club for a few drinks after class. Around 8:30pm, the bartender told us to go upstairs because the band would be setting up. We willingly complied. Shortly after we went for a cigarette break. After we came back inside, the tall gangly four-eyed bouncer asked us for stamps. We did not have stamps as we were NOT there for the Hootenany (as exciting as it may have been). We tried to go back to our third floor table in a stinky room. But the bouncer interrogated and demoralized us. We decided to leave before I could profess my love for the SGPS guy. I was so heartbroken.

Had I been able to act on my primal urges, I could have burst forth to the delectable SGPS guy with my emotions. I urge you, reader of this complaint letter, to strongly reprimand the bouncer, for he has caused me damage that the common man cannot comprehend. Mad with power, this man stripped me of my only opportunity to unveil the feelings I have kept sheltered and left aging. This aging process is not one of a fine wine…these emotions have strived to be released in a constrained window of time, like a flower that blooms but once a year.

I renounce the Grad Club and all its associated events and employees. I renounce them with all of my soul. I have been stripped of love, of dignity, and life. I curse the Hootenany, the stinky room, and the man with the washboards. As I lay for the remainder of the night in the fetal position, weeping, I will forever curse the day that I set foot into the Grad Club. My corpse, cold and lifeless, will convey this message to all, and your establishment will become as bare as the cupboards of Old Mother Hubbard. A pox on thee!

2005-04-03T23:08:00.000-05:00

Ironic...
I received an urgent call today from Kirst from NZ (she is working for a year in Canada). Her and some fellow travellers were in Toronto watching B-level league hockey, when 40 seconds before gameover their power went out. They didn't get to see the final score!! I wondered about their obsession with a sport that is a large part of our quintessential Canadian identity, given this season's NHL lockout. Since the lockout, we don't seem to care about hockey as much. At first there was a backlash, but then we settled for Movie Night in Canada, instead of Hockey. I'm sure there are die-hards out there still, but did they also become obsessed with B-league level of the fave sport? It sort of warms my heart in a way, because the true spirit of our love of hockey should be the sport, not just the stars playing.

2005-04-01T23:39:00.000-06:00

Guess what?!?! I fell in love at first sight today and decided to quit school and move to be with my new lovah!! You all knew I had a whimsical carefree way about me... and today I was truly swept off my feet. No inhibitions!!!

2005-03-31T01:13:00.000-06:00

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's" Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism

95%

Hedonism

90%

Utilitarianism

65%

Strong Egoism

50%

Justice (Fairness)

45%

Kantianism

45%

Apathy

35%

Nihilism

35%

Divine Command

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
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2005-03-31T00:53:00.000-06:00

You scored as Hermione Granger. You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.

Hermione Granger

85%

Sirius Black

80%

Severus Snape

75%

Remus Lupin

75%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Harry Potter

65%

Ron Weasley

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Lord Voldemort

60%

Ginny Weasley

55%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
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2005-03-29T23:11:00.000-06:00

I am not entirely sure on this, but have I self actualized? You know, Maslow's hierarchy and all that... I feel I have achieved quite some bit in my life thus far. I have experienced love, lost love, satisfied esteem needs, experienced family struggles, meaningful bonding, gained trust, lost heart, made a difference, been different, I feel safe, but have insecurities, felt inspired, admired others, bowl-full-of-jelly laughter, tears until my ducts went dry, melancholy, solved problems, created troubles, self sabotage, healing... the list goes on. So where does that leave me?

2005-03-27T04:08:00.000-06:00

What a great weekend in Toronto! I got to see all kinds of friends/acquaintances that I haven't seen in ages... and I find it's only once in awhile that everyone, and I mean everyone, gets together like this - i.e. usually only weddings or funerals, but our charm managed to unite everyone under his lytton roof!! However, all good things must come to an end and such a large group could not all be kept together... So a chunk of us ended up at Fez Batik. I had fun for some moments as well using Dutch words like 'Oma' and 'Opa' and 'double zout' with Sarm's partially Dutch co-worker. Then I was dragged by sarm et al to some sort of 'underground' after hours night scene where weirdos all shapes and sizes manage to roam... I could go on and on with countless more stories, but basically I had super fun all weekend long, as per usual T. activities.

PS - Read Vic's entry for a recap of tonight's festivities.

2005-03-23T00:56:00.000-06:00

I swear I should just move into my office.... tonight I even had chinese food delivered there. This is getting ridiculous. I really like school this term. But there is a lot to be done and in a few weeks the stress levels will climax... so remind me of this entry at that time. I attribute part of my success here to the fact that I have few social distractions because my only friends are fellow MIRs and we're all busy at the same time. This is why I am a proponent of Sarm studying at uwo next year, despite commentary from people like Jeff that are in disagreement on that.

2005-03-20T11:08:00.000-06:00

Went to the Brass last night for Kendra's birthday! It was very fun. The only redo I wish I had was not to do that shot near the end of the night...

More good news! We got U2 tickets for September, on Erika's birthday actually. It was my first time using Ticketmaster online, so I worried momentarily that I wouldn't get tickets because of some rookie error I might make. But alas, it all went smoothly.

2005-03-19T00:13:00.000-06:00

I have been staying up late these nights, and have taken to watching 7th Heaven at 2am each night. My enjoyment of this show goes way back to the days at 5 Kenneth living with my Milverton girls... even though at that time we used to mock the show, ultimately something heartwarming continuously draws me to it. To most people I jest that it's the moral lessons taught by a minister and his family members. But now I think it's because in a one-hour episode, nearly every emotion that I know is experienced by these characters. While I can't really feel their emotions, I can certainly identify - I think good ol' adam would call this 'pathos'... and I finally know what he means.

2005-03-17T14:25:00.000-06:00

sLáInTe!! (That's irish for "cheers" or "bottoms up"). Pronounced "slon-chee"

Also, Where's the craic?? meaning where's the party at...

Have fun on this beloved day my beloved friends!! What a Saint that Patrick was!! Don't be cliche and drink green beer - have an irish whiskey or a guinness...

2005-03-17T03:07:00.000-06:00

I am tired... but I cannot sleep... does that make me untired?

2005-03-15T20:34:00.000-06:00

I am missing cheap Tuesday wings & beer night tonight because I am sickly. When I inhale, my heart (or area there-around) hurts so I must quickly exhale, causing me to take shorter breaths than I would otherwise prefer. But it is not constant at least... to counteract my illness, I am going to drink loads and loads of water and have a good night's sleep. If it persists, I will go to the dodgy queen's health service centre and see what remedies they can offer.

In other news, I won't be making it to Toronto this weekend, rather I will come next weekend. Thank you charm for moving up your b-day party.

2005-03-14T17:28:00.000-06:00

I did my taxes finally, but because I move so often T4s and 5s and other forms get sent to wrong addresses and I have a hard time filing my information online. This makes me look forward to the day when I don't move every 4 to 6 months. I'm excited for my tax refund now though =)

I might come to Toronto for St. Patty's day because I'm not sure I can come easter weekend anymore, but I will let y'all know as soon as possible.

Not much else new over here... seems like Spring is in the air...

2005-03-10T09:20:00.000-06:00

My law moot (mock arbitration) went well yesterday. The arbitrator was a bit intimidating and had many face contortions that served to make my submission difficult to give. But maybe that's how arbitrators are... we got our grievor reinstated with full back-pay, which was nice, considering he was a public service employee that fell asleep on his job all the time, but because his religion doesn't believe in doctors or sleeping pills or other medical attention, we found our way around the law. Hehehe...

I had a 2nd presentation yesterday in HR, and it was about corporate social responsibility so it stirred up a lot of class interaction, which is always good in presentations. And we had some visual aids that helped as well, plus a group member that was a funny presenter. We were worried at first because we were presentation number 3 at 4:30 and usually no one is listening by then after a long day, but our topic was interesting enough to keep people attentive, so it went well.

Today I'm taking the day off.

2005-03-06T23:43:00.000-06:00

Not much new here folks... only that history has repeated itself with me, yet again. I was seeing a boy and when I felt it was getting too serious, I hit the road - I'm like a man that way. But my problem involves a theory of odds. Not to be cocky, but I have quite some potential lovahs, but very few success rates. And these are good high quality men, for the most part. But I seem to have some sort of self sabatoging quality that is controlling my actions in love. I'm not talking about the non-mutual liking that often predicts the ends of relationships. For me, it is the boys that like me and I them, that in the end I seem to send packing. I am not one of those girls that complains that she only finds duds. I find good men, but don't want 'em... for some unknown reason that I seem to have no conscious control over. What's the deal with this reverse dilemma regarding boys?

2005-03-02T18:19:00.000-06:00

We were out for a beer the other night in Camden Market because I had said I just wanted to sit down and have a guinness and shoot the shit. A boy commented that I am not like a real girl and that my idea was demonstrative of countless other occasions like it... is that true?

2005-02-27T14:27:00.000-06:00

We watched Ireland vs England in 6 nations rugby at the Walkie. It was super funny - everytime the English scored a goal, all the English fans sang "Swing low sweet chariot..." and when the Irish scored a goal, all the Irish sang "Stick you chariots up your ass...". But it was all friendly, because it wasn't as if the two groups were on opposite sides of the bar. Rather, they were interspersed throughout the entire bar.

I did some major browsing at both Camden and Spitalfields markets. I tried to resist many purchases, even a pair of shoes that a vendor told me looked beautiful on me and also a flowy bohemian skirt that would be fun for summer weather. However, I did cave in and buy a funky ring and of course I bought yummy foods. You guys know I can't resist good food.

Also, it seems that those white-plastic toed tacky running shoes are going to come back in style - you remember the ones from grade seven or eight... as well as the bohemian skirts I mentioned above. It seems like some sort of hippie frenzy is going to take over the preppy lookers. Or maybe the fad will pass quickly.

New vocab I am going to try to keep upon my return:
- sod off (as in piss off or fuck off)
- dodgy (as in shady, freaky, sketchy)
- stuffed (as in tired, not full of food)
- buggered (as in tired) --> you can see I need as many synonyms for tired as I can find because I use this word often... tee hee

All of that said, I am super sad to be leaving tomorrow. I really love it here... but maybe I will be back one day... one day soon...

2005-02-25T04:13:00.000-06:00

Well Well Well!! Quite some events have transpired since my last entry...

First of all, I'd like to point out the open and honest system that the transit system operates under over in these parts. For example, if a subway train is running late, the announcement specifically states that, "the Bakerloo line is running late due to a person falling underneath the train". Now we all know this sort of thing goes on, but this honesty system seems to mean that no one can really get pissed off at the transit system on the one hand, but then on the other hand, it also makes you sick to your tummy knowing all the details. I think I'd rather it be kept secret why exactly trains are late.

Also, I made out with an American at the Traveller's Bar karaoke night. What a good kisser he was, but one, he was younger than me, and two, he was american. I feel I have my usual pent up hussiness, even over here. Hehehe, what else is new?

Okay there was something else I meant to blog, but I forget at the moment... until next time...

2005-02-23T04:25:00.000-06:00

I passed the muchos barricaded Downing Street today, and was hoping for a glimpse of Hugh Grant, the Love Actually prime minister, but an entourage of police guards warded me away with their evil stares. Hehehe... then as I neared Trafalgar, Nelson fell right off his column! Ok, kidding again... sorry people, I feel giddy from odd sleeping patterns and my love for this London city.

More interesting notes:
- Riding the subway costs more than the bus - perhaps something we should consider in Toronto? Or would that really mess up ridership?
- When you ask for a drink at the bar, they ask if you want a single or a double shot. Do you think that indicates this country's love for the drink?

2005-02-21T08:53:00.000-06:00

This is what I learned at the Wicked Women skit at the Tower of London:
"It's a sorry house where the hen crows louder than the cock."
Alice the pirate showed her husband John just how true this statement is because they were both sent to drown as punishment for her demanding scheme that failed to go according to plan.

Also, I forgot how much I like not having to tip bartenders. I always feel guilt in Canada, and end up giving them $1 for every drink because I don't want to look like a cheap-o by fishing for quarters. Although, drinks still works out to be cheaper than the U.K... bah!

2005-02-18T00:13:00.000-06:00

Wendy's Survivor Palau Team

I entered Wendy 2.0's survivor pool. I am playing by correspondence here in K-rock. It involves complex spreadsheets and formulas because Wendy is a nerdface :P and although I don't fully understand it, my team includes: Bobby Jon, Kim, Janu and Willard (picked randomly on the basis of cool names). My team captain is Willard (which may have been in err after seeing him -he is an old fuddle fart) but nevertheless I had super fun watching episode 1 (all by myself I might add). I screamed and cheered with glee when none of my characters were voted off. I also feel I have randomly hedged my bets in that I have 2 players on each of the two tribes!! I also have a secret crush on survivor Ian. He is a cutie... tee hee...

2005-02-17T13:16:00.000-06:00

Ramblings...

I dreamt last night that my shower curtain fell off and I couldn't get it back on, and just as I was on the verge of tears the whole bar fell down and a voice from behind told me I had improperly screwed in the 'flints' (or something like that) which doesn't really make any sense because you don't use flints to prop up a shower curtain, but at least my tears went away... Isn't that weird?

I will go to the QP tonight for a beer hopefully, before I leave for my 'reading' week holiday ;)

I also told my officemate that I want to go farming this summer. She laughed at me. But I still want to farm for a week or two, to see if I enjoy that life. Lemons or avacodos I am thinking... in Chile...

2005-02-14T21:01:00.000-06:00

This link made me laugh like a hyena!! http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4106

2005-02-14T12:05:00.000-06:00

I did the nerd quiz from Genevieve's link and I am also a nerd wannabe (further exhibited by the fact that I cannot put hyperlinks into my text) with a score of 29. This is exactly what it said: "Not nerdy, but definitely not hip."

I'd also like to wish everyone a happy valentine's day. I got chocolates from a boy - how very cliche - but still very yummers!!

I spent a lot of time at Future's this weekend. I love Future's and miss my great Toronto city.

2005-02-07T17:11:00.000-06:00

The dentist appointment went as well, as far as dentist appointments go, that is. I have to get a wee filling, but the school will foot the bill, so no problem for me!! I plan to max out my $500 dental coverage by year-end.

I went skating on the Rideau canal on Sunday with some MIRs and Hana. Hana and Liz, non-native Canadians, had some hard times on the ice, but there were enough of us Canadians to help them along (not me though, I'm a bad skater). We ate yummy beavertails, which I hear are called elephant ears in the USA - those Americans, always bigger and better than us.

We went dancing at an 80s club in the evening after eating at Mongolian grill. My Toronto friends would love both venues. At the grill, you choose your own ingredients for your stirfry... mmm, mmm, good. All my good memories involve food. And 80s night was grand, but I am perplexed as to why so many MIRs have such an obsession with 80s tunes. None of my other friends have this obsession...

But today, it's back to the grind of school. 2 more weeks until reading week!! I might visit Toronto this weekend, but am unsure at the moment... it might be a hard at work weekend here in Kingston.

2005-02-03T09:15:00.000-06:00

I am going to the dentist today... eek...

2005-02-01T23:37:00.000-06:00

I wanted to follow-up blog about my entry on January 24th, to examine if my fellow bloggers experienced the bad day predicted by the mathematician in Sheffield, UK. I only received three replies to my request for feedback, which is a piddly sample of responses, but all three had good Monday Jan 24ths... Bonnie started her new job in London, UK and moved into her new flat! That's exciting! Lily suffered through school, but was able to meet up with good friends on the 24th. Wendy B went so far as to say the day was in her top 10 days of 2005! Considering we're only 24 days into the year, that's not as good as it sounds, 2.0. But she did say that "uneventful" was good for her this year. She began 2005 with quite some tumultuous events!! I had to consult my agenda to recall how I spent the day... not that I log everything I do, but just to frame my day of events. I had no class, which was GREAT. I got little work done, which was bad, but not so bad - it's only week 3 of classes! I ate some beefaroni which is my new favorite food. So Jan 24 was not a bad day for me.

Overall, it seems to have been an uneventful day, with a few highs experienced...

2005-01-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

Is how you act when you live alone really how you are? Or is it just a small facet of your being based on other circumstances?

If the former question rings more true then this are some cross-sections of me: I throw my coat on the floor when I come home instead of hanging it, but I like to keep in order my hats/mitts/scarves... can we say "lazy"? I clean my bathroom incessantly, but never pick up the clothes strewn about my bachelor pad... again, lazy. I like to eat out of the pot sometimes so I don't have to wash the dish... lazy... do i even need to say it... And I've taken to lying down with my lap top perched up on my knee instead of using my desk. I like to keep my tv on the floor instead of stationed on top of a table.

If the latter question is more correct, then I don't hang my coat because i don't have a coat closet or coat rack, but I do have a shelf for hats/mitts/scarves. I clean my bathroom all the time because it was brand new when I moved in and I've never had a nice bathroom before due crappy Toronto student housing... can we say "appreciative"... I keep clothes in piles on the floor because I don't have enough drawer space. I eat out of the pot because I only have 2 bowls, one of which is broken and the other I keep filled with water by my heater because it's dry in here.. how's that for a "cheap-o". I don't use my desk becausee the chair hurts my back... this says I care about ergonomics... I keep tv on the floor because my bed lies low to the ground... this way I avoid parallax error by keeping the tv at a similar level...

... just a peek inside the questions that run through my mind... ;)

2005-01-28T16:43:00.000-06:00

SATC Analysis...

Most of you know what SATC is and for those that don't, you don't need to know, it's not material to the following commentary... I have been observing relationships of those around me. I know I am not in a relationship, so who am I to analyze, but I'm like a prof that teaches about a topic, even if he or she has never actually put his or her theories into practice. It seems to me that people have a predisposition to get into relationships like their parents have. I know Freud already gave us insight with his Elektra and Oedipus complexes, but I think people don't even realize that they're doing it sometimes. Either that, or they do the complete opposite of the so-called mistakes their parents made. And if we know all this, why do we still do it? This explains partly why we always ending falling for the same type of guy/girl, or why we go for people that others say are so wrong for us. We think we know best. This can lead to trouble if we don't achieve awareness. The truly lucky people are those that have good parental relationships to emulate, or those that become aware of this phenomenon taking place in our subconscious and consciously try to define our individual selves and figure out what we want or what we can and cannot tolerate and ultimately, what makes us happy. For in the end, that's what really matters. What made them happy/unhappy may or may not have the same effect on us. Of course my analysis ignores other factors at play in the game of relationships, and it is a game, but it's a theory in progress... more thoughts to come...

2005-01-24T10:55:00.000-06:00

Check out this link... I can't hyperlink it, sorry amigos... Looks like today is gonna be a bad day!! ;)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4187183.stm

2005-01-23T23:49:00.000-06:00

I just watched the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry asks for a wake-up call from his hotel and he keeps hounding the front desk for reassurance that they will wake him up. Then Jerry and Jean-Paul overslept. That almost happened to me in Amsterdam when I kept hounding the wake-up guy to make sure he called me or else I would miss my flight. In a paranoid state, I opted to drink redbull/vodkas all night and stay up because I thought the wake-up guy was pissed at me and wouldn't call to awake me. I think I made a better choice than Jerry... I'm neurotic. Getting cable tv may have been an err on my part. I relate too much of my life to tv.

2005-01-22T18:45:00.000-06:00

I have been experiencing ESP lately - like a certain someone I would see at a bar the other night, and that we would lose so many of the Bewic sports. We'll save the ESP portion of the chat for another time... Here's the play-by-play of Bewic... We (the MIRs) played this intramural competition against various other queen's teams. We played broomball, rugby basketball, volleyball and waterpolo. All of our first games were against Phys Ed teams, and I had an eerie flashback of the Goffsky's (shudder). Needless to say we lost all first games, and we felt satisfied that it was because of their agility and coordination, them being phys ed and all. But then we were whooped by first year biology, the Queen's band and some other riff raff.

For a group of 'negotiators' and 'team players' we sure have little coordination and strategy! But we did have much fun. And shots and beer were enjoyed by all at the Brass. We are certainly good at drinking and no one can take that away from us!! Perhaps we are getting old, because today everyone's msn name includes the word "hurt, sore, injured, dislocated, tired, beat, etc..."

An interesting side-note: Overall, phys ed boys are fit and pretty good looking (I, in particular, quite enjoyed this one guy wearing a 'Kemp' jersey). But the girls! My good lord!! While there are a few that are reasonable looking and fit, they are overall quite bulky and often unfit and chubbers. How can this be?

2005-01-19T19:46:00.000-06:00

I was feeling lonely today, or for the past few days really. Not the "there's-no-one-around-kind-of-lonliness", because I've constantly been around people I like for the past while - it's the kind of lonliness that you feel even when you are surrounded by others. To me, this is the saddest kind of lonliness, and perhaps one of life's sadder feelings in general. Then a friend pointed out that maybe I need some time alone. That makes some sense. However, until Sunday, I have plans with others - classes, meetings, sports contests, birthdays... then on Sunday I will spend my day alone. But for the record, in general I find Sundays to be blah days. So maybe that's not the day to do this... it's a vicious cycle, ain't it?

On a separate note, my eye keeps blacking out in certain spots... what's up? any eye doctors out there?

2005-01-16T17:24:00.000-06:00

MIRs in Montreal!!
What better way to start the term than a wild weekend in Montreal!? That is, get some rowdiness out of our system before school gets busy - that was our MIR discussion in our office early last week. So yesterday morning we drove down for a one-night party session in the great Quebec city. Driving became a bit of a nightmare once we were in Quebec. Some hypothesized that our Ontario plates were the ammunition for unnecessary honking and random middle fingers. We are proud of Kendra, our chauffeur, for handling the task of driving in such a calm and cool manner.

After we checked into our hotel, we went out to eating paninis and hit the shops on Rue St. Catherine. I also dyed my hair brown. It looks natural (i.e. matches my eyebrows) and the hair stylist said it's better than my drab dirty blond. For dinner we ate smoked meat at Reuben's. Yummmm... Montreal smoked meat. The highlights of any trip for me are often the delicious grub I manage to intake. I also find that Montreal feels a little like Europe in general.

For the party part of the night, we danced up a storm for 80s night at a club called Electric Avenue. I tried to pick up a hot man but we had a little language barrier so it didn't work out. Perhaps I am just not smooth... I also chatted with another lad, an American in the Navy. I didn't like him (for the record). He approached me. And I just wanted to probe him about just what he thinks he's doing in the Navy. The answer 'serving his country' just wasn't enough for me. I'm not nice. Hehe. Again, I am not smooth.

We kept drinking throughout the night and people went back to the hotel in stages. The last ones of us to leave woke everyone up when we got back to the hotel, and I was called an L.T. (loud talker) and told that I would not be allowed to sleep in the car the next day!! Eventually I fell fast asleep. I slept like an armadillo on bottom corner of one of the beds. I deep slept and my phone was ringing in the night from certain people that were texting me from Boa in Toronto... it woke others up but not me... ;)

Overall, it was a super fun weekend and there are jokes that went on that will keep us laughing for the term. You know the types of jokes I mean... the ones that aren't even funny, but they really are to the people on the 'inside' of the occurence of the initial joke - like the recurring mishap on Rue St. Laurent... or how I'm usually the last one to 'get' jokes... or how answering 'yes' in a sauna when you mean 'no' could lead to trouble... or how 'Curt' was run over 3 times in Chad's dream... you see, NOT funny to you... unless of course, you were there! ;)

2005-01-13T10:52:00.000-06:00

I have met with 3 profs by now to be potential thesis supervisors, but the topic I really want, cross-cultural training, I can't find a supervisor for. Ah well, time will sort this all out I feel.

In other news, I am going to watch Bedouin Soundclash on Friday for Raquel's birthday (Pascale's housemate). Apparently this band assembled here at Queen's, but I suggest that my readers download some songs by them - particularly "When the night feels my song". They are actually quite good - reggae/rock... sounds weird, but is very cool.

I am getting cable today between the hours of 1 and 4pm - I can't help but be reminded of the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer pisses off the cable guy, and I relish in the fact that soon I will be watching at least one episode of Seinfeld per day. :)

2005-01-09T17:52:00.000-06:00

I'm back in Kingston now, and am onto planning the next year. It will be a year of extremes - big decisions and big excitement.

I had a lovely time at the Keg with Bonnie and Erika last night. I felt I was in some sort of emotional groove where I was 'in touch' with myself. I basked in the rarity of it. I had real and true fun and felt aware of my superb mood. As Bonnie said, it was just "pure fun". It provided me with an easy contented feeling. Hurray to being in touch with the self!!

2005-01-07T14:54:00.000-06:00

I have an ear infection. I haven't had one of this since I was a wee one. In fact, I didn't even realize adults could get ear infections... I'm really getting old here methinks. My immune system just ain't what it used to be. Next thing you know, I'll have back aches and arthritis...

2005-01-04T08:03:00.000-06:00

For the month of January, I have 5 day weekends. However, that means that Tuesdays and Wednesdays will be quite hectic and I 'ought' to get a lot of work done on my thesis. Hehehe. We'll see how it goes.

Today I am off to the Dutch consulate to inquire about my passport... fingers crossed that I can get one. Wouldn't it be nice to be a dual citizen? I think so!

I still have a bad cold, and I'm sure my nomadic behaviour is only worsening it. Oh well, at least I don't have school or work at the moment.

2005-01-01T13:46:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!! And what a year 2004 was... Let's see 2005 top that!! (sarcasm) I feel that many blah things happened in 2004. But also many exciting things. Like Erika blogged, I feel that 2005 is going to be exciting...

I awoke on New Year's day and had brunch with friends. Kendra asked how I knew the people at our table... (she had hung out with my friends for the first time) and I answered that I knew Sarm, Bonnie, Navin and Hoi Ning (out of nearly 20 people at the table). Fair enough - they were mostly G-towners. But I was reminded again of the web of friends I have and how close my core amigos are to me and how they each come from different places - i.e. UTSC classes, residence, England, high school, grad school... and as a web, I will always be connected within it somehow.

2004-12-28T09:43:00.000-06:00

Happy Krishnamus (belated)... I spent some days in the 'frew and no access to the internet until today... we had $10 sangria pitchers last night and attempted to go bar hopping, but Monday nights are fairly dead, even in the T. We all shared our new years resolutions and made a pact to settle in Toronto by age 30. Shoot. What have I done?

I was recollecting about my dating history and past love interests and I have realized that many of them have the same number date of birth as number month of birth, or the reverse... that's kind of eerie... e.g. 01/10, 09/09, 10/01, 02/02, 12/12... I think I think about these things because I like patterns.

2004-12-23T09:56:00.000-06:00

We watched Freddy vs. Jason last night.
Lesson Learned: Never let Sarm pick movies.

Thank you to Queen's for my bursary. Hurrah!! Best Christmas gift ever!!
Lesson Learned: There are spillover effects to poor Renfrew girls when wealthy alumni and parents donate monies to an elite and hoity toity school (that I attend).

Happy Christmas to all!! I will be in the 'frew until Monday then we will all enjoy "Sangria Monday at Labyrinth" - come one!!! come all!!!
Lesson Learned: Don't fret/complain/cry/growl/etc... JUST DRINK and be merry!

2004-12-22T11:29:00.000-06:00

I'm here in T. - work is a bit slow right now so I found time to post...

Guess what? I met David Foot yesterday!! I know what you're thinking, who cares Wendy and who is David Foot?? He is the author of Boom, Bust and Echo - a very good book I read in my later years of uni and helped fuel me to my current area of study. I was gushing... I can't believe I met him at random in my RBC.

2004-12-19T22:07:00.000-06:00

Okay my T. amigos, the wenders is returning to see y'all tomorrow morning. I am so very excited about having 3 weeks vacation. Movies, parties, shopping, chit chats and all of that!!

PS- I love eggnog. Eggnog will be a part of everything I enjoy this December season.

2004-12-18T01:53:00.000-06:00

Update: Both papers are near completion - edits for executive pay paper and a few fillers are required for business immigrant paper. All is good...

Tomorrow (or tonight rather) I will celebrate with noneother than my friend, the drink, at the Peel Pub. ;)

2004-12-15T01:52:00.000-06:00

Good: Love actually is all around us
Bad: I learned that quote from a movie
Good: I have a crush on someone
Bad: He lives an ocean away
Good: I sound like a sap
Bad: I am a sap
Good: I only have one more paper to write this term
Bad: I am too lazy-minded to give it my full attention
Good: U2 is going on tour
Bad: I probably cannot afford tickets
Good: I feel happy when I write the good comments
Bad: I feel sad when I write the bad comments
Good: This structure of blogging is indicative of the roller coaster I feel is my life

2004-12-14T13:16:00.000-06:00

I watched Pay it Forward and Love Actually last night.

Pay it Forward caught me offguard, I didn't realize how serious of a drama it was... I just wanted some lighthearted flicks... I found myself very grossed out at Kevin Spacey's burns instead of feeling empathic. I get shivers just thinking about his disgusting skin. (I am a meanie) and I usually don't like that little kid actor (you know the one from Sixth Sense). He is a whiner and crybaby. It was hard for me to admire him as the young 'hero' in this movie.

In the words of Hugh Grant, Love actually is all around! I've seen it a couple times now and each time I am cheered. I love the dry British wit and how it's sorta realistic in that not everyone ends up with who they want to in the end. So cute and perfect for the holiday season.

2004-12-13T09:46:00.000-06:00

I cannot wait until 4:00pm...

2004-12-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

U2 going on tour!! HURRAY. When coming to Canada?

2004-12-12T10:53:00.000-06:00

Can someone teach me how to post pics on my blog? Or is that a bad idea?

2004-12-08T13:53:00.000-06:00

I am having a study break - soon I will go to Starbucks for an eggnog latte, if you like eggnog and coffee, do try this yummy x-mas treat.

My old roommate Kristen is visiting this week - we are studying together and eating yummy treats, it's like old Milverton times!! :)

There is a funny article in Globe and Mail that I read today about London's wax museum nativity scene with posh spice and david beckham featured as mary and joseph, amongst other funny characters. Check it out - I won't link it because I'm too lazy to figure out how at the moment....

2004-12-06T18:21:00.000-06:00

Today has been a reasonably productive day. I spent a long time at the office and much was accomplished. My officemate imparted on me some new advice arguing against quitting the program, and so I spent some time pondering the main concerns holding me here:

"i cannot break my lease on my apartment"
- This is more proof of my financial constraints rather than any actual feelings re my degree.

"4 months completed out of 10 argument"
- This argument did not sway me (in isolation) because sometimes I also see it as 6 more months wasted.

"this degree will help me get a better job"
- Even though the pessimist part of me thinks I will never like working, somewhere deep inside me I have faith that I will find a job I like... eventually ;)

"disappointing/bad karma to my referees that were specifically asked my likelihood of completing the program"
- This carries a great deal of weight because 3 profs had faith in me to complete this program. This is really the point that I need to be reminded of next time I want to quit ;) Thank you Krista for helping me see this major point!

2004-12-05T19:41:00.000-06:00

i. cannot. do. my. work. i. am. so. unmotivated.

2004-12-03T22:33:00.000-06:00

The other day a few of us were chatting over wings and beer about sleep cycles and circadian rhythms. At one point I found myself making a point about how people have different sleep cycles and patterns, and I stated that my proof was that I read it in a book somewhere, so as to make my point more credible. ACK. When did I become one of those people? I hate when people justify saying something to me that they 'read in a book'. Just say the point and let people draw their own conclusions, no need to prove it by referring to a book... I'm such a silly girl sometimes.

2004-12-02T16:04:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's December already. I have one more day of class, then a whirlwind of papers and exams until the 20th or whenever I finish the papers (whichever comes first).

We had a MIR Christmas potluck today between classes - it was very yummy. We listened to Christmas carols and laughed and chatted. My officemate brought her son - he is cutie. Very friendly and clever. Kids can be fun! Mingling with my classmates in that type of environment was a pleasant change from the stressful antics in day-to-day relations.

I think I'm having bacon for dinner now. Mmmmmmmm, bacon.

2004-11-30T09:38:00.000-06:00

I love Tuesdays (like Bonnie in China) because I too can sleep in and laze away the morning. Lately I've become hooked on breakfast meats - like bacon and maple sausage... it's very tasty. Mmmmmm...

Current Events: Bush is in town... less than two hours away from me. Ooo la la. Also, Julia Roberts had twins - boy and girl with stereotypically odd names, like Hollywood stars all tend to do. In a way it makes sense, they would never want to be mixed up with some commoner with the same name as they have.

2004-11-27T10:10:00.000-06:00

Update: I woke up on the 'right' side of the bed. =)

2004-11-26T23:08:00.000-06:00

So here I am, home on Friday night. Back when I had roommates, I wouldn't feel like a big loser for doing this, because of 'misery loves company' and all that... I should be doing 'homework' but alas I am much too lazy and not liking school at the moment. I am inches from quitting... or seriously deliberating it in any case... Will this really get me somewhere I want to be? And is all the preparing (via education) going to help me in the 'real' world? Our prof gave us an article to read today called the talent myth, which was an interesting read suggesting that Enron's demise was due to the fact that they had too many 'smart' people working there. ACK. Is this the kind of reading we need to be doing in exactly the type of graduate program that pumps out students to work at these big wig companies?

Maybe I just need to sleep, and hopefully I wake up on the 'right' side of the bed tomorrow...

2004-11-24T19:47:00.000-06:00

It seems that many a night after drinking, whilst en route home, drunken boys pee against the A&P across from my apartment. I find it gross and disrespectful.

Ralph Klein won again... he's so ugly (and dumb), he deserves more pies in his face.

I'm a mean girl. Hehehe.

2004-11-22T20:56:00.000-06:00

Greetings on 11/22. I had a long nap today - now I am giddy................... I also watched Kill Bill with Kendra. As we watched, we weren't that impressed, but we kept watching. It was kinda strange, but cool. I guess if you wait so long to see it, you start forming impressions based on what other people say. But in hindsight, it seems like the only people I've ever met that actually liked it were guys. However, we were left hanging at the end and now want to see the Sequel.

2004-11-19T13:52:00.000-06:00

I just fixed my curtain rod all by myself. In a drunken stupor, someone pulled the bar out of the wall and stripped the holes last night so I was exposed to all of Brock Street. (No, it wasn't me!!) I'm a good handy-woman.

I'm off to the 'frew later today for the weekend. That should be alright, albeit a bit of a bore. But I'm sure I will get drunk tomorrow if at all possible =)

Have a fun weekend amigos...

2004-11-18T01:23:00.000-06:00

This day always a troubling day for me... My dad passed away 12 years ago today - this year it's strange though... I have now lived as much of my life with him as I have without him. I'm not sure how I can measure the influence he's had on what I have become. Undoubtedly we are an extension of our parents in many respects. I think of lessons I learned from him and wonder if I'd have otherwise learned the same lessons. But more importantly I wonder if he knew that I would learn them anyway. For example, I once stomped and screamed and raged at him for not purchasing an extra seat on a plane for a my doll, Mimi, during one of our journeys. He put her in my suitcase, while I wailed away. Do you think he knew that I'd one day realize the impracticality of buying plane seats for inanimate objects? Or would I remain a petulant brat? He probably had faith that I'd grow up okay. Parents are cool that way - they silently believe in us every step of our lives. And I think I ended up okay. I thank my parents for their reassurance, although sometimes I'm sad that my dad didn't get to see his goals for me realized.

2004-11-15T23:27:00.000-06:00

Toronto Weekend!!

It was another whirlwind weekend of yummy chinese food, movies with good friends and dill pickle popcorn, candid photos, belgian bier market, mouth-watering futures brunch, fallsview roulette, free times frittatas, cosmic bowling, the game of life (reflections of the future?) and roaming the busy streets. WHEW. Is there ever a dull moment in this city?

Today I managed to, while sipping at my Starbucks earl gray, finish, in rough form, my labour economics midterm. Although of course, there are still questions I cannot do... but for some reason, it's much easier to study in a Toronto Starbucks than the Kingston location... I can't pinpoint the reason why... je-ne-sais-quoi!

In other news, I arrived home and it seems someone has stolen my newspaper. How rude. It's a bloody $2 paper!!

2004-11-11T01:00:00.000-06:00

Phew. I'm done with my unions paper. See you in HELL paper!! Tomorrow I will get drunk at the Toucan where they have half-priced pub grub, a fine complement to beer, for graduate students. I hope I don't do anything foolish...

I also have class cancelled from 10:30 to 11:30 for Remembrance Day. I will attempt to find somewhere nearby to pay tribute to the soldiers, and if not that, I will have my 2 minutes of silence. Or is it one minute? Or longer?

2004-11-09T10:38:00.000-06:00

Take Home Midterms...

Have any of you ever written take-home midterms? I am getting my 2nd one today and must spend 2 hours in a prep session on how to write (outside of class time). I am not even done my first take home, and I'd like to point out that these little buggers are worse than just writing the damn exam. They take MUCH longer to write than time I would have spent studying and I'm pretty sure you get marked harder, because now, style and grammar and all that are expected. Just who came up with this idea for take-home midterms? No one is happier... What a pain in my ass. Damn the social sciences!!!